Subconsciously many of us misrepresent the real value of our work, sometimes making our work seem more valuable than it is and sometimes making our work seem less valuable than it is, we don’t mean to do this, we have been taught to do this.

We see this misrepresentation of value everywhere in our culture and nowhere is it more apparent than in advertising. Value is hugely misinterpreted in this culture, in fact its quite a problem, such a problem that we begin to value things that have no real value at all, like designer jeans over our water or food quality. Its quite amazing to me that people are on a whole these days more willing to pay for expensive brand name jeans than they are are for organic food.

But I have always been a proponent of leading by example, and instead of telling people what they should or should not value, I think the better thing that we can all do, and the honestly the more joyful and lucrative thing to do is provide as much real value as possible to as many people as possible. When we provide real value we start to dissipate all the unreal value out there. By providing real value the world has that much more, and soon the real value in the world becomes more than the unreal value.

So when we start to really follow our heart an do what we believe is valuable, and not what others have told us, or what we have been taught is valuable, but what we really feel is valuable the better the world becomes and the more wealth flows to us.

The more real value we create the more real wealth flows to us. Real wealth can be a lot of things, its money, happiness, friendships, health. Real wealth is richness in life in all realms, not just monetary. Real wealth is far better than a large bank account, and it doesn’t necessitate a large bank account, but there is probably one there anyways. Really we all want real wealth, we don’t really care about the size of the bank account, we really want real wealth in our lives.

Real wealth comes when we provide real value.

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It is far more effective for people to come up with their own guiding beliefs, not only will you believe them more but you will understand them and they will be a helpful addition to your life. If you take the time to investigate your beliefs and moral systems you will come to realize some very deep truths, probably even some truths that one could argue are absolute. But try as you may to communicate absolute truths you never can, for as the Tao so wonderfully says “The absolute that can be written is no the absolute.” One one experiences absolute truth it can not be explained to another, another must experience them himself. Absolute truths can not be transferred from one person to another in their completeness, gain one must feel them for himself. Someone can only point the way to that experience.

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Yet the key to success is actually in NOT doing what others have told us what to do. The key to success is in doing what you know is best to do for yourself. The key to success is following your own guidance. The key to success is in listening to your heart and following it. The key to success is in truly being yourself.

Others are constantly trying to tell you what how to do things. But the key to remember is that they don’t know what is best for you. They don’t know your specific unique situation, at best they can give you broad general strokes from experiences of their own lives.

There is no guru outside of yourself. This is the one point that I would like to come away with in this article. There is no guru outside of yourself. The best teacher is yourself.

We are constantly being told that the answer lies outside of ourselves. We are constantly giving our power away to doctors or teachers or anyone as if they could really truly help us. And I’m sure that they can in some points, when our heart guides to the advice of others it is good to take it, but we must remember the advice of others is only as good as it sounds true in your heart.

You are your own guru. You have all the answers within yourself. This is the truth. I’m not saying that you don’t need anything outside of yourself, as long as you are living you will be taking in information from outside of yourself. What I am asking you to do is look inside to your own innate beauty and abundance of knowledge.

Honestly who best to know what you need than yourself? Who best to know your answers than you? Honestly if you really thought about it, I bet that you could answers 99% of the questions you have yourself if you just allowed yourself the time for them to come to you.

So if you really want to do something focus on doing it as you would do it. Think about what you want to accomplish and then just go about it, don’t worry about how others say to accomplish it, just go about it, go for it, just GO FOR IT.

In fact from my experience I think there is a direct correlation between those who follow their heart/instinct/gut/etc and success. In fact I’m just going to go ahead and say it; there is a direct correlation between those who follow their heart and success.

There is. The more real you are, the more attractive you are, the more everything you are. Realness is what creates success. In fact I don’t know anyone who has any real success who didn’t get there by not being real to themselves.

So if the key to life is being yourself, being real to yourself, then how do we do it? How do we throw away all our preconditioning and become in alignment with our true nature?

Well let me tell you… NOT. Let me not tell you that. You know why? Because that would be just us falling into the same old routine again, of me (or it could be anyone) telling you what to do.

All you have to do is ask yourself the question that makes the most sense to you. Maybe it sounds like; what do I do more of to be in alignment with my truth, or maybe it sounds something like; how can I be more real with myself? Or maybe it sounds something like, how can I begin to understand what is really true for myself?

The key here is to listen to yourself. The key is to always listen to yourself. Become aware of your own inner nature, and follow your own framework, this will give you the best results in the end.

Enjoy.

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I have come to realize that what really helps people the most is not by changing what I do, but how I do it.

What really matters is the energy behind a gift, as we all know it really is the thought that matters. The energy behind your work, your gift to the world, has a ripple effect to all who come in contact with it. If you have a good feeling while you are doing what you are doing other people who come into contact will also feel this later.

Your attitude is apparent in all the small things, what we call dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s. This is really what matters. When you do something with a feeling of happiness everything about what you are doing takes on a good feel to it.

Your attitude really is the most important thing in your life.

When you do things out of ease, a feeling of ease emanates from what you have done, for the benefit of all.

So if you want to start helping others and yourself just start where you are. Start where you are with what you are doing now, you don’t have to change what you do, that naturally changes anyway, just start changing how you do it.

How you do what you do is far more important than what you do. The attitude you have while you do something is your energy state when you are doing what you are doing, and this is what leaves a lasting mark on your work. This energy leaves a lasting mark in the small little things that change while you are working from a state of peace or happiness or bliss than in an opposite state. When you are happy you are probably going to cross more T’s and dot more I’s, everything you do is going to have that feeling that you went the extra mile for it, and others will feel it.

By enjoying yourself and what you do, others will enjoy your fruits also.

So when you are thinking about what the best thing that you can do for someone or for others, simply just start doing what you are already doing but change the way you are doing it. Learn to enjoy those things that you are already doing and watch your world change for the better.

The next step of course is learning how to enjoy what you are already doing. I’ll talk about that in my next post. Until then, enjoy your day and whatever you are doing.

-W

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I have a tendency to speak at people instead of speak with people. I have come to realize that a lot of my blog posts have been about how to stay positive or the benefits of a raw food diet but I haven’t really been speaking with my audience, I haven’t been telling stories and engaging. I aim to start adding my personal touch to posts more often, its this personal touch that makes each one of us shine.

By speaking with people instead of at them they are much more inclined to listen to you and trust you. Who wants to just listen to someone telling them what to do all the time? I can tell you this, my habit of constantly trying to speak at people instead of really connect with them has really hurt my relationships. I often feel that I know whats best for someone or how they can overcome all their problems, but really (even if I actually do) by speaking at them by telling them how to do things differently they will never really listen to me.

When I speak at people and try and tell them what to do, usually my nicest friends will nod and say “Yes Wayne that’s some good advice, I’ll probably do it.” and switch subjects and most of the time never actually take my advice, this is a loose loose situation, I lost by not effectively communicating and they lost by not really hearing me and taking my advice and to add to this we both lost our time.

Recently a really great friend of mine finally let me know she had had it with me constantly talking at her (by the way the best friends are the ones who let you know when your messing up). Now I realize that every time I was with her I seemed to be telling her what was probably the best thing for her to do, or think, or eat, or whatever. When she told me this it took about a day for me to understand that if you want people to understand you, trust you and take what you have to say seriously you have to speak with them not at them.

True Connection

The key to speaking with people and not at people is developing connection and empathy within yourself. To really be heard by people we must shift from the attitude of “I have all the answers and you must just listen to me” to “I’m here to connect with you as a fellow human being.” When you connect with someone you listen to them, I mean really hear them and see your shared humanity, see how you aren’t that different from your friends, see how you could easily put yourself in their shoes because you could have easily had been born with their parents and chosen their way of life. You aren’t trying to fix them, you aren’t trying to do anything to them at all you are simply just connecting with them.

When you connect with people you might or might not say anything at all to them, you might not decide to do anything else than listen, and this is OK. Because when you are really connected to someone you will know what is the best thing to say at the best time, but you can’t know the best thing to say if you are only concerned with telling others what to do, basically just yelling. Its much like those people who yell at the top of their lungs in public spaces telling others what god to believe in or whatever, does anyone really listen to him, no not really they might hear him but they don’t listen to him. But what if that guy was to come up to you and start a conversation and really listen to you and develop a connection with you, would you be more inclined to listen to him now?

Tell your story

This is great and all, but how do we connect on the internet or in books or on podcasts where we are not speaking one on one? Tell your story. People connect when they hear stories because it reminds us of our shared humanity, as we all have stories.

When we stop trying to make our points heard is when they really become heard because we allow for it to happen, we are no longer forcing it to happen. So tell your story, be yourself and remember the most important thing is not getting your message across its connection.

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I almost ditched this recording because it has a lot of “ums” and “likes” but I feel there are some really strong points in the recording that people could really benefit from.

The main points this podcast goes into are authenticity and positivity. I touch on how its a common theme in the conscious community to say act happy when you actually aren’t and how its actually much more important to be authentic than to be afraid of putting negative vibes out. I also touch on the notion of positivity as a state of being that is a result of loving and accepting yourself. Positivity as a state of being can not be had, you can’t try and be positive, being positive comes from loving and accepting yourself as you are right now.

So check out the podcast and let me know how you like it in the comments section below.

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2. Neo-Taoist PodCast on Tantra