New Paradigm Personal Development » Carrer & Passion

The most important thing is to feel good

Wayne — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 14:15:16 +0000

The most important thing is that you feel good.

Yet a lot of people have a problem with this statement. In this article I want to persuade you that feeling good is actually the most important thing you can do in your life, by debunking some common reasons why most people say you shouldn’t feel good, including exercise and necessary evil type arguments, and I give some reasons people be stuck in the belief that you have to go through some sort of bad feelings in order to get what you want like school and social pressure. At the end of this post I explain some ways you can start feeling good now.

Feeling good is the most important thing that you can do. Why? Because when you feel good you start to attract other feeling good things to you. If you are not feeling good with what you are doing, then you are going to attract to you more of those things that don’t feel good to do. Like attracts like.

But some people might say “But I have to do this thing I don’t like to do right now, so that I can pay my rent.” Or other similar things. And if you say it is so, then it is so for you. You create your reality, over and over again we create our reality each day with each choice. This type of thinking that you need to do something you don’t like in order to achieve your goals, or to survive even, is pretty common in our culture, a lot of people subscribe to this belief, and therefor its hard to go against.

When we look around and see that most people are doing what they don’t like to get to some level of survival, we automatically think that this is the way it simply is. This type of thinking is systematic and has its roots in the education system most people go through. Most kids don’t want to go to school, but are told that they have to and that they are given this false hope that by doing something they don’t like (like homework) they will get something good out of it.

Well let me tell you something Nothing good has ever come from doing something you don’t like. Nothing.

What about exercise? Some people might argue that exercise is just something that you have to bear through in order to get what you want. To this there are a couple responses; first, ask most people who have some sort of exercise routine, they like to exercise it feels good to them. Secondly, if you don’t feel good while exercising you probably are not going to reach your goals, whatever they are. Sure it might hurt a little, it might sting a little, it might push you a little when you are exercising and these actions might not feel “good” in the body at the time, but in a lot of ways it does actually feel good to exercise. It might not feel “good” in the normal way we think of feeling good, as in some blissful relaxed equilibrium of the body, but it does feel good mentally, emotionally and in other ways, and it sure feels good after, really good.

The most successful people don’t subscribe to the belief that you have to do something you don’t like in order to do what you do like. In fact the most successful people and tell everyone (again and again) that to be successful you have to do what you do like, you have to do what feels good. The most important thing to achieving your goals is feeling good. The hard truth is that you are not going to do anything worthwhile if you are not enjoying what you are doing. I know this might be hard to accept now, especially if you have some job that you spend most of your time doing something you don’t want to do, but its true, you know its true.

So then, we must make it our top priority to do what makes us feel good. It must be our number one top priority.

But someone might argue that that sounds pretty hedonistic, maybe even animalistic. If we all just went around doing what made us feel good we would be like animals, just fucking all day, or just doing drugs all the time. Well first, what is wrong with fucking all day? And secondly doing drugs doesn’t actually feel good in the long term. The argument against doing what feels good, because if you did you would just do drugs all day, is really the same type of argument as the exercise argument except the other side. Yes doing drugs might feel good in the moment, but it doesn’t feel good in the long term, not at all. Exercise might not feel good in the short term, but it does feel good in the long term. The high from drugs don’t last long, then you need more, and more. Even given the best circumstances, lets say you are rich and can afford all the drugs you want, eventually your body will begin to shutdown, our bodies just can’t handle large amounts of drugs for long amounts of time. We can’t stay permanently high with the use of drugs. We always have to come down, always. So a lot of drug users are unhappy because they have to keep getting high in order to feel good, yet most of the time they are not high, so most of the time they don’t feel good. A drug users life is not a happy life, a drug user doesn’t feel good most of the time. Don’t take my word for it, look at one of them for yourself.

So the key is to do what makes us feel good for extended periods. The most important thing is that we feel good, all of the time.

OK, some people might be convinced that feeling good is the most important thing yet what does this mean practically? How does this affect my life, and how can I feel good most of the time?

Practical Ways to Start Feeling Good

Start slow and start with awareness. Just being aware of those things that make you feel good is a great first step. Also being aware of those things that you do that make you feel bad is a good first step too. Be aware of your feelings, what makes you feel good, what makes you feel bad. You don’t even have to change anything just notice them, write them down. This is the most important thing you can do to start feeling good; be aware of your feelings. The next step is natural, when you are aware of those things that make you feel good do more of them when you are aware of those things that you make you feel bad do less of them. To have the best chances for success the slower the better, but also know that the key to change is perseverance.

Slow steady change is the key to success.

So go forth and start to become aware of your feelings, and after awhile start to do more of those things that make you feel good and less of those things that make you feel bad. You are destined to win.

In love, -Wayne

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The Best Gift You Could Ever Give

Wayne — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 19:06:21 +0000

I often think, what is the best use of my time here on this planet. What can I contribute that will bring the most happiness to my life and the life of others?

I have come to realize that what really helps people the most is not by changing what I do, but how I do it.

What really matters is the energy behind a gift, as we all know it really is the thought that matters. The energy behind your work, your gift to the world, has a ripple effect to all who come in contact with it. If you have a good feeling while you are doing what you are doing other people who come into contact will also feel this later.

Your attitude is apparent in all the small things, what we call dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s. This is really what matters. When you do something with a feeling of happiness everything about what you are doing takes on a good feel to it.

Your attitude really is the most important thing in your life.

When you do things out of ease, a feeling of ease emanates from what you have done, for the benefit of all.

So if you want to start helping others and yourself just start where you are. Start where you are with what you are doing now, you don’t have to change what you do, that naturally changes anyway, just start changing how you do it.

How you do what you do is far more important than what you do. The attitude you have while you do something is your energy state when you are doing what you are doing, and this is what leaves a lasting mark on your work. This energy leaves a lasting mark in the small little things that change while you are working from a state of peace or happiness or bliss than in an opposite state. When you are happy you are probably going to cross more T’s and dot more I’s, everything you do is going to have that feeling that you went the extra mile for it, and others will feel it.

By enjoying yourself and what you do, others will enjoy your fruits also.

So when you are thinking about what the best thing that you can do for someone or for others, simply just start doing what you are already doing but change the way you are doing it. Learn to enjoy those things that you are already doing and watch your world change for the better.

The next step of course is learning how to enjoy what you are already doing. I’ll talk about that in my next post. Until then, enjoy your day and whatever you are doing.

-W

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You are enough! The End To Fear Based Marketing

Wayne — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 08:10:14 +0000

Pick up most marketing books today and they are still teaching fear based tactics. The idea still widely practiced is that a successful marketer will make the consumer believe that he needs the product, that his or her life would not be complete without the product, this tactic plays off of peoples fear and insecurities. Fear based marketing increase peoples insecurities and fear by tricking them into believing that they are not enough, that they should look outside of themselves for the answer. If you buy something with the false belief that it will somehow make you more whole or complete you are bound to be disappointed because there is nothing outside of yourself that can give you yourself, that can show you your own unique magnificent brilliance but you!

Marketers are trying to trick you into believing you aren’t enough; you need this or that. You need this consultancy, or that seminar, or this knowledge, or this workshop. It has been engrained in us at an early age to believe the we are not enough to distrust our feelings and ignore our passions.

Marketing must move to a more uplifting and ultimately more sustaining model, on that embraces facts and positive messages. A positive based marketing approach doesn’t try and trick the consumer into believing that if he doesn’t buy this product his life will be worse off or how I absolutely need this product in order to be happy or whole. A positive based marketing approach actually cares about the consumer and wants the best for them if or if not they buy the product. Positive based marketing informs the the consumer in very clear ways what he will get, nothing more. Positive based marketing goes out and finds the tribe of people who are interested in what is being offered, or builds the community, contributes to the community and naturally engages those who are interested in buying the product.

Now that business is moving online we don’t have to blindly place billboards up or TV commercials not knowing who might watch, marketing finally can go to where the people are that actually care.

By continuing fear based marketing the marketer and the consumer fuel and sustain within themselves the false belief that we are inherently not enough, that we must look outside of ourself for our salvation, that there is some sort of lack and that we must fill it, this is false! We are enough, our salvation is inside and inherent, we lack nothing.

The truth of the matter is that there is no lack, we live in an infinitely abundant universe! You are whole as you are right now. You need not go anywhere, invest in anything, or do anything to become whole to become who you are, because you already are you who you are. At the same time enjoy your life, buy tickets around the world and things you want its fun, but realize that these things can’t make you happy, these things can fill your life with meaning. You are the meaning of your life. You are amazing, you are enough!

Your primary emotion

Podcast #2 – How To Follow Your Passion

Wayne — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:29:54 +0000

In this podcast I discuss the reasons why its important to follow your passion and how to start doing it by calming the fears of the mind. Related Posts Podcast 1 – Authenticity and Positivity Vibrations Are Everything Finding Your Passion

A Life Lived As a Means to An End Is An Unhappy Life

Wayne — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 10:03:03 +0000

photo credit: Seattle Miles

Your only real job on while on this planet is to enjoy your life.

Life is meant to be a joy, its our life after all, we should spend it as happy as possible, always reaching new levels of happiness previously un-experienced.

How do we experience the next level of joy in our life? If you think that you have to work hard and do lots of things that you hate in order to be happy you are living a life of means to an end. My question to all those people that are living a life of means to an end is, when will the end become now? When will you actually experience your end, when will the means pay off? Living life as a means to an end will never pay off, because the end never comes its always in the future and never now.

The key is to stop living life as a means to an end, and start living life as if you already have what you want. As Ghandi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” When I first heard that quote it changed my life, because it absolutely makes so much since to me. If you want to be happy you have to start doing things that make you happy now. Living a life as a means to an end will leave you unhappy 95% of the time because you are constantly doing something you don’t like for a short lived result.

If you want to be happy most of the time you have to do those things that make you happy most of the time. It takes courage and clarity to do what makes you happy most of the time, but life is so much better when your happy.

So start doing what makes you happy now, realize that by living a life as means to an end can not give you long lasting sustained happiness. Realize that you must be the change you want to see in the world; you must be happy now.

Be happy and enjoy life.

You are enough! The End To Fear Based Marketing

If not you, who? If not now, when?

Wayne — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:38:07 +0000

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday about my recent decision to quit my office job working as a web developer to focus more on my passion in the personal development field, and he remarked that it must have been hard for me to quit given the current economic conditions. I told my friend that while it did take a lot of courage to break out of my comfort zone and start following a more inspired path, it had to be done and it had to be done now. The true reality of the situation is that I am the only one that can change my life and I give no power to anything outside of myself, like the economy, to dictate my life.

If not you, who?

I told my friend that if I let external circumstances dictate my life, then the time would never be right to follow my passions. If I don’t start to stand up for myself now, then when will it ever be right? If I don’t start really sharing the amazing things I have learned in health, wealth creation, relationships, etc., then who would!?

You are the only one who can truly change your life, and furthermore you are the only one who can do what you have to do in your own unique and special way.

You have to start your life now, because no one else can do it for you. No one else can shine just like you can shine; no one else has had all the unique experiences and learning that you have had and no one else has the passions that you have. If you don’t do what you are passionate about, what you absolutely love, then who will? What you have to give the world is so unique and special and if you don’t start giving that, then who will? Who can? Only you have the talents and passions that you have, and only you can give those to the world.

If not now, when?

In the same vain, if you don’t start following your passion now, then when will you? The only time that things actually happen is NOW! Now is the moment of power, but the mind will always come up with reasons why it can’t be done now. By having the mindset that you will start following your passion at some point in the future, that passion will never be followed because the future is never now. Will you do it tomorrow, or next week, or next month or next year? Eventually tomorrow becomes today, next week this week, next year this year, and at some point, you have to start following your passion now! In fact, now is the only time it can happen. So let it happen now! It must be done now, because now is the only time in which it can be done!

There is much less stopping people from doing what they want to do now than they typically believe. Many people believe that all of the right circumstances have to fall into place before they can start doing what they really want to do. Many people think that they must have a certain amount of money in the bank, or be in just the right relationship, or live in just the right place and drive just the right car before they can do what they really want. The reality of the situation is that it’s never going to be a perfect time to start following your passions because the mind can always think up new reasons why it can’t be done right now.

You must understand that NOW is the only time during which you could ever do whatever you want to do. It is actually quite a difficult concept to wrap your head around if you think about it… Nothing, I repeat, nothing ever happens at any time other than the present, and “the future” really only exists as a moment of NOW when it finally does come along. That is to say: THIS very moment is the only REAL moment that ACTUALLY exists, so deciding that you will do something “in the future” is like affirming to yourself that your goal or your plan or your idea genuinely does not even exist!

So go ahead – conjure it into existence, right here and right now. Take action right now.

Of course you will always be able to think of reasons why you can’t do something now, but realize that if you don’t do it now, you are very politely giving all of your power away to forces outside of yourself. Now is truly the moment of power – all you have is now and if it doesn’t happen now, then when?

In sum, you are the master of your life. As comfortable as it is to give our power away to external circumstances outside of ourselves, the simple truth is that you are the only one who is stopping you. The only way you can achieve what you want is to realize that no one else can do it for you. It is just as easy to convince yourself that now is a perfect time to do something as it is to convince yourself that now is a terrible time to do it.

Think about it – it takes a lot of effort to spin all of the reasons to put something off through your mind. To really stop yourself from following your dreams, you have probably come up with thousands of reasons to stop yourself, such as the risks involved, the challenges you might face, the timing… Well imagine if you put all of that effort into thinking about only the potential positives that could come out of making that kind of change. Seriously, consider for a moment that all of the negative “what ifs” are literally JUST AS LIKELY to occur as all of the potential positive “what ifs.”

You simply cannot afford to wait to start following your passions.

May you realize that you are the only one that can make your reality real. May you realize that it can only happen now. May you start now.

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Your Dream Job Is Where Your Passion And Skills Meet

Wayne — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:58:16 +0000

Today I quit my job as a web developer. I was working for a great local web design company and I was generally happy at my job, but I realized that web development isn’t my passion, it’s my skill.

My passion is personal development.

The following is my story about how I came to quit my job, learn to follow my true calling and learn the difference between passion and skill. Hopefully you will be inspired to be as aggressive about creating your own dream job!

Working as a web developer, I always knew that I was much more than a web developer. I have always had a fascination and love for personal development. Call it what you want: personal growth, personal achievement, time management, spirituality, consciousness… Basically, I simply enjoy taking every aspect of my life to the next level. I love talking about personal development, I love doing personal development, and even quitting my job today is indicative of my passion of taking my life to the next level! I feel much more aligned with my passion now that I have left a job which relied solely on my technical skills as a web developer and not at all on my love of personal growth.

The opportunity I see for myself (and all of you) at this point is to literally create my dream job by combining my skills on the web with my personal passion for innovative thinking! I know that I can give so much more to the world through applying my skills directly to my passion. I know that I can really touch the world by sharing of myself and my experiences, specifically in the realm of personal development. I am a natural leader, and I am never satisfied unless I am leading and doing that which I know to be best for me. I know that going into a job everyday and doing something I am good at but not passionate about is not how I can truly help the most people. Take a look at your current job, and ask yourself if you are really bringing your whole self to what you do, or if you are simply being paid to repeatedly utilize certain skills you have.

If you see room for improvement in your own career, consider creating a new, dream job for yourself! My dream job is to be a leader in the field of personal development, and this blog is my first step. I am bound to succeed in what I am doing because I am passionate about it. I love talking, writing, reading and practicing theories, tips, and techniques on personal development. I truly want to live the best life ever, and am constantly striving for the best for me and for the people around me. As such, I have already achieved amazing results and literally can’t wait any longer to share them with the world.

The very best part about this is that by doing what I know is best for me (creating my own dream job), I am really doing what is best for the world. When I do what I am passionate about, the whole world benefits because what I am passionate about I do so well; real quality work comes from those that are passionate about what they are doing. The more you heart sings when you are doing something, the higher quality it becomes.

I love the idea that your job is where your passion and your skills meet.

It’s no question that my skills are in web development: I have been part of the development of hundreds of websites, I fluently speak the language of the web and will always be a tech geek at heart, but this is my skill not my passion, and therefor can only ever fulfill less than all of my potential. Being a developer isn’t entirely rewarding for me – no matter how good I got at web development, I just didn’t like it enough to really take it any further than fluency, I didn’t have the passion to take my development skills to the mastery level – which genuinely limits how helpful I could ever be to others.

My true passion is personal development. When I think about mastering personal development I get chills down my back! I can honestly think of nothing more that I like doing than taking my life to higher and higher levels of ease, freedom and joy – and teaching others how to achieve the same.

It is incredibly important to be able to recognize our abilities, and to correctly categorize them as either skills or passions. I recently became very clear on my deepest passion by reading Janet Attwood’s The Passion Test (through a recommendation by fellow LA personal development teacher Max Simon). Shortly thereafter, it all really clicked for me when I read Zen Habits’ short, simple post on finding your passion. A key element of that post that made a huge impact upon me was asking yourself, “What do you read?” as a guide for finding your passion. Take a look at how you spend your reading time – on your commute, before bed, between checking things off of your “To Do” list. When I took a look at my own time, I could clearly see that every chance I get, I am reading about personal development, spiritual growth, etc. This has been my habit ever since I was in high school, because it’s in my spirit, I love it – it’s my passion. What is yours?!

Once I really owned up to my passion, I finally realized that what I was doing in my job wasn’t at all what I was passionate about, it was what merely what I was skilled in.

I have decided to truly let my passion shine, to step up and lead a conscious revolution in personal development. With my skills as a web developer and my passion in personal development, there is every reason why this blog will be just as popular as Zen Habits or StevePavlina.com. I am destined to succeed, and if you can find the intersection of your skills and your passions, you are destined to succeed as well. Go for it!